Today’s post is part 3 of the ongoing series of my decision to go back to school. Though this post is supposed to rationalize and understand why I decided to quit my job to study math and physics, I do not think there is a good reason for this. The idea of going back to school was never a new idea to me as I have been very open to the idea of going back to school ever since I started University. Originally the agreement with my parents when deciding what to do after Highschool was that I graduate from University and they would permit me to go to trade school afterward. Although I had some interest in becoming an electrician, it was just something I decided with no particular reason and decided to stick with it throughout Highschool.
Background
You can read my blog on what made me study Computer Science for the background why I decided to study Computer Science. But to summarize, I did not particularly want to study Computer Science. I liked learning various programming languages and work on mini side projects, but I did not want to make a career out of it. Therefore, I never applied to Computer Science. I just got an alternative offer to study Computer Science and I decided to accept it.
In my final year of Highschool, I did not have any ambitions and therefore I did not know what I wanted to do in life. But I was interested in studying Physics due to the positive experience I had in Highschool. Although it was not my strongest subject, I had tons of fun in the course. Furthermore, my interest in Mobile Suits (from the anime Gundam) and my weird obsession with Nuclear Energy at the time, I considered studying Physics. But the market for a Physics major was scarce so I never applied. I also do not consider myself scientifically literate. If anyone asks me a simple science question that any Highschool student should know after taking a course in Physics, Chemistry, or Biology, I would have a hard time being able to answer them if I was not taking the course currently. This shows my lack of understanding of the subject and the flaw in the way I study.
As for why I did not study Math, I simply did not like Math at all and consider myself to be terrible at Math. It may come as a surprise, but I was a former student in the special needs class due to my poor performance in Math.
Therefore it may come as a mystery why I would even quit my job to study Math and Physics.
Why Math
Despite not being knowledgeable in Math and Physics, it is a bit weird for me to quit my job to pursue an undergrad in those subjects. Similar to Computer Science where I had some background in the subject beforehand (through self-studying), I now feel that I have enough exposure to the subject to be able to succeed and appreciate the subject. Through my undergrad studies in Computer Science have exposed me to a realm of Mathematics that I did not realize. I never realized there was more to Math than just computation (i.e. plugging numbers into equations) and this excited me. Although I almost failed the course that opened my eyes (i.e. Introduction to Mathematical Proofs where I was 1% away from the exam from failing the course and ended up getting a D), it was a start for me to appreciate Math for what it is. Furthermore, math becomes useful in senior years when you start taking specialized courses where an understanding of Mathematics becomes useful such as in Image Processing, Machine learning, and Robotics. It’s the moment where all your Math courses during your freshman years become of some use.
During my undergrad in Computer Science, I started to appreciate Math more and more after each time I completed a Computer Science theory course. The two courses that made me appreciate Math the most aside from the introductory course to Mathematical Proofs were Computational Complexity and Computability and Complex Variables (I was removed from the course sadly for lacking prerequisites since the main campus and the campus I studied at had different requirements). I just loved being in those classes and was excited to attend the next lecture.
I was always going to go back to University to study Physics but my experience with “Math” at University made me decide to also go back to study Math. I want to study Math properly because I neglected it a lot in Highschool and during my first two years of University so my foundations were not as strong as I would like them to be. Math was my weakest subject in University bringing down my CGPA quite a lot. Hopefully, that will not be the case this time (or else I’m in serious trouble).
Why Physics
It was always my intention early in my studies in Computer Science that I would go back to University to study Physics. Though I was contemplating if I should simply just add a Geography major in my undergrad instead, saving me from going back to University afterward. The major constraint from graduating with another major was my interest in taking a lot of computer science courses and poor course scheduling. In addition, I simply did not have money to do an extra year. I was planning to quit University during my third year and just join the military to fund my education if I did not get an internship because I did not want to ask for money from my parents.
I always felt incomplete because I wanted to understand the world more and Computer Science does not provide that. I could learn about the world through books and documentaries but I wanted the ability to work in fields that require an in-depth knowledge of science. I often felt having only a Computer Science degree was pointless without coupling it with something else whether that be another major or an interest in something like healthcare. Unless you are going into Computer Systems or theory, it makes sense to have an interest in something that can complement your knowledge in Computer Science. I do not want to work on something where I cannot have a connection with the product. I once worked on reimplementing a Chemical Patent Software and felt very disconnected from the product itself due to my lack of knowledge in the subject. While I was only a frontend developer so I did not need to understand Chemistry, it bothered me a lot. I want to understand the product I am working on to the point where I would see myself using the product. I am not motivated by money. I am motivated to work on something I think is interesting (does not have to be important). My company pays and treats me well to the point I feel guilty about leaving. My interest in branching outside of computers made me leave my job.
Anyhow, the reason why I choose to study Physics is simply because of my positive experience of Physics in Highschool. If not Physics, I probably would have just studied Physical Geography. I want to explore if scientific computing would be something I would be interested in or perhaps go into academia. I have been interested in science solely because it explores and tries to explain the phenomenon around us such as how the Universe was formed, how to harness and utilize nuclear energy, or how things work on Earth. The idea of not knowing much about the planet and Universe you live in sounds a bit weird to me. I do understand there are just way too many things I will never understand. But I at least want to have a solid understanding of at least one physical reality such as the processes of Earth’s surface and atmosphere.
Academia or Industry
I do realize Math and Physics do not have many career options without pursuing higher-level education. I am open to the idea of pursuing higher-level of education and also going to academia. I am still debating whether I want to work in academia or the industry. In my junior year (3rd year of University), I was exposed to a wide range of Computer Science courses. The amount of breadth and depth these courses offered made me take my studies seriously and spark joy in learning. I did not consider graduate studies because I did not want to specialize in anything. Though there are several other reasons why I did not consider graduate studies, one of which is my lack of research and relationships with the professors.
I want to tackle the idea of going to academia because I want to work on something I find interesting and not because the market demands it. I do realize it is hard to get funding if you cannot promote the impact your research has on the market or on society as a whole. However, academia offers more flexibility and freedom to pursue things you are interested in without trying to tie every decision to a monetary value. The orientation for new full-time employees made me very unexcited due to the emphasis on making decisions that give monetary benefit to the company.
Summary
As from what you can see, there’s no real good reason as to why I would go back to University to study Maths and Physics. It’s something I am curious about and it’s just to complete the void I felt from just studying Computer Science.
However, studying Maths and Physics can potentially open to careers where a mix of math, science, and computer science would be required. The next blog will lay what my expectations are from this degree. Spoiler alert, I do not expect myself to graduate with an undergrad in Math & Physics. I am going back to school with what I view as realistic expectations.